NEWS AND VIEWS
Australia

Other Countries

Tuesday, 15 May 2007

The emperor marched in the procession under the beautiful canopy, and all who saw him in the street and out of the windows exclaimed: "Indeed, the emperor's new suit is incomparable! What a long train he has! How well it fits him!" Nobody wished to let others know he saw nothing, for then he would have been unfit for his office or too stupid. Never emperor's clothes were more admired.

"Most popular budget on record, but no bounce"

The verdict on today's Newspoll by Denis Shanahan, the political editor of The Australian, that made the edition sold in Canberra carried the above headline but I could find no trace of these words of wisdom on the paper's website at midday. Whatever the reason for the apparent disappearance it is now clear that the paper should serialize the Hans Christian Andersen story The Emperor's New Suit. A sample of what is in store for Oz readers:

  ."I should very much like to know how they are getting on with the cloth," thought the emperor. But he felt rather uneasy when he remembered that he who was not fit for his office could not see it. Personally, he was of opinion that he had nothing to fear, yet he thought it advisable to send somebody else first to see how matters stood. Everybody in the town knew what a remarkable quality the stuff possessed, and all were anxious to see how bad or stupid their neighbours were.

"I shall send my honest old minister to the weavers," thought the emperor. "He can judge best how the stuff looks, for he is intelligent, and nobody understands his office better than he."

The good old minister went into the room where the swindlers sat before the empty looms. "Heaven preserve us!" he thought, and opened his eyes wide, "I cannot see anything at all," but he did not say so. Both swindlers requested him to come near, and asked him if he did not admire the exquisite pattern and the beautiful colours, pointing to the empty looms. The poor old minister tried his very best, but he could see nothing, for there was nothing to be seen. "Oh dear," he thought, "can I be so stupid? I should never have thought so, and nobody must know it! Is it possible that I am not fit for my office? No, no, I cannot say that I was unable to see the cloth."

"Now, have you got nothing to say?" said one of the swindlers, while he pretended to be busily weaving.

"Oh, it is very pretty, exceedingly beautiful," replied the old minister looking through his glasses. "What a beautiful pattern, what brilliant colours! I shall tell the emperor that I like the cloth very much."

.

"Does it please your Majesty now to graciously undress," said the swindlers, "that we may assist your Majesty in putting on the new suit before the large looking-glass?"

The emperor undressed, and the swindlers pretended to put the new suit upon him, one piece after another; and the emperor looked at himself in the glass from every side.

"How well they look! How well they fit!" said all. "What a beautiful pattern! What fine colours! That is a magnificent suit of clothes!"

The master of the ceremonies announced that the bearers of the canopy, which was to be carried in the procession, were ready.

"I am ready," said the emperor. "Does not my suit fit me marvellously?" Then he turned once more to the looking-glass, that people should think he admired his garments.

he chamberlains, who were to carry the train, stretched their hands to the ground as if they lifted up a train, and pretended to hold something in their hands; they did not like people to know that they could not see anything.

The emperor marched in the procession under the beautiful canopy, and all who saw him in the street and out of the windows exclaimed: "Indeed, the emperor's new suit is incomparable! What a long train he has! How well it fits him!" Nobody wished to let others know he saw nothing, for then he would have been unfit for his office or too stupid. Never emperor's clothes were more admired.

"But he has nothing on at all," said a little child at last. "Good heavens! listen to the voice of an innocent child," said the father, and one whispered to the other what the child had said. "But he has nothing on at all," cried at last the whole people. That made a deep impression upon the emperor, for it seemed to him that they were right; but he thought to himself, "Now I must bear up to the end." And the chamberlains walked with still greater dignity, as if they carried the train which did not exist.

For the full story of The Emperor's New Suit by Hans Christian Andersen (1837) click here.

The Power of the Herd

It happens in many forms of life - there is safety in sticking with the herd. They used to say of IT managers that no one ever got sacked for buying IBM even if the computer system turned out to be a disaster. Fund managers retreat in to the safety of index funds so they can never be judged as worse than the market. And journalists avoid being the only one to say that Labor looks like winning an election. Better to be proved wrong saying it will be a close run thing than to risk looking ridiculous when John Howard gets returned again.

And so it is at the moment when opinion poll after opinion poll shows Kevin Rudd a clear cut favourite to become Prime Minister. The search is always on to find a reason why the polls are wrong. There are so many ifs, buts and maybes trotted out by we political pundits that an ordinary reader must wonder why newspapers bother to publish such unhelpful things as Newspoll at all.

So here goes. Only a miracle will save the Howard Government from losing the next election. The trend of the Newspoll is clear as the table and the graph of results comparing this year with the last election year of 2004 shows. Odds of $1.90 for $1 are a steal. Get in to this great value with your ears back.

And remember to call me a complete fool when John Howard wins the next election.